# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
there is glitter all over my balls
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