so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
