Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
