There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
