saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
