I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
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Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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