I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
