your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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