she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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