lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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