Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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