i wish starbucks made bloody marys
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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