How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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