I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
