Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible