oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
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I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
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I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours