If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
