You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
