wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
