He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Omg I joined a choir last night...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
