I just made out with a guy for $7.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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