Hey man sorry I got all grabby
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
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I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
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We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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