Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
