i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
