It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
