He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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