Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
