yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
