new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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