I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
