he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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