Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
