I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
