I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
