My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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