I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
