roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
