Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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