So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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