The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
