At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
