Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Randomize
