Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
These tits shall not be calmed
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
