I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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