She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
