Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
