Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize