it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
