Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
