There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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