i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
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