I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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