you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
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Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
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No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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