evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
