You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
