Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
