I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
