I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
