youre lurking in front of me
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
