i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
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