you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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