Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
