shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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