we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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