You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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